Is Your Relationship Headed for Marriage

Is Your Relationship Headed for Marriage Relationships Spouses & Partners Print Is Your Relationship Headed for Marriage? If only you could read his mind! By Marni Feuerman Marni Feuerman is a psychotherapist in private practice who has been helping couples with marital issues for more than 27 years. Learn about our editorial policy Marni Feuerman Updated on May 28, 2019 Cultura RM Exclusive / Twinpix / Getty Images More in Relationships Spouses & Partners Marital Problems LGBTQ Violence and Abuse So you’re in love and you believe you found “the one.”  Your relationship has been humming along quite nicely. Even your parents like him! You think enough time has gone by. Not to mention, several holidays too. Holidays with perfect opportunities for gifts. But, still no ring. It can be hard to tell if your relationship is headed for marriage. You may not want to rock the boat with such a serious conversation. But at the same time, you certainly don’t want to waste your time.   Tell-Tale Signs He Might Be the One 1. He references the future, with you included and does so often! Gone are the ifs. Its not if we do this or that, it becomes when we do this or that. Whether it is planning a vacation, purchasing a home, or attending a friend’s wedding next year, it is obvious that you are on his mind. He is no longer thinking about his singlehood but what it will be like as a permanent couple. He has communicated in both words and behaviors that you have a future together. 2. He asks your opinion on important life decisions. Things are no longer viewed as only impacting him alone. If he is offered a job in another state or he is not sure what to do about his ailing grandmother, he seeks out your input. It becomes a discussion and not a unilateral decision. 3. You are always welcome at family gatherings and he attends most of yours as well. His family accepts you and yours accept him.  It seems like a natural fit. Its a bonus if his mother always asks if you’re coming and is disappointed if you arent.   4. He is still around even though you have hit a few rough patches. Maybe you lost your job, experienced an extended illness or broke your leg.  He was right there with emotional support. He maybe even offered financial support (which, of course, you didnt take), but it made you feel secure. Or perhaps you had a nasty episode of PMS or had a big blow-up over something. If he still didnt bail, chances are hes not ever going to.   5. He demonstrates that he believes in marriage and is not fearful of making such a life-long commitment. Its a really optimistic sign if he has a positive attitude towards intimacy and commitment. He is thoughtful about marriage, wont jump in or rush, but at the same time is more than willing to take the risk on love if it feels right.   6. You have a lot in common, including a few weird or quirky things. You might have a similar sense of humor or a particular habit that you both do. It seems as if you both really get each other.   7. The dead giveaway: you overhear him asking someone about diamonds or he starts to notice or comment on other womens engagement rings!  If this happens, he is definitely thinking about proposing and chances are sooner rather than later. You do want to be patient. Seeing all or some of these signs should help you know deep down that this guy isn’t going anywhere. There’s no reason to take the romance out of the process by being pushy or always starting up conversations about your future. Alternatively, if you have been patient and you either do not see these signs or worse, he has been inconsistent in his behavior, it is time to have a sit-down talk. You will have to take a risk about expressing your feelings and check in with his. You may end up heartbroken. However, you do not want to invest any more time and energy into a relationship that is not headed for marriage if that is your goal.